Part 2

As I was browsing and being nosy, I stumbled upon a blog (by someone I don't know) and read her entry discussing something that she said she had been hearing a lot of lately: the DEMANDS women put on potential suitors. Over the last few years I have most definitely raised my standards although the things that really truely count, I'm still struggling with. I work, so I expect anybody that I date to have a job as well. I have my own vehicle and I feel my man should too. I don't have my own place yet, but I do expect someone that I'm seeing to be living with ANYONE besides his mother. I know that sounds hypocritical, but we have all at one point or another dated a mama's boy and as long as a man is living with his mother, there's only room for one woman in the house and it's not gonna be you. This woman went on to give an example of someone she knew personally who would "parking lot pimp" and approach men who drove luxary vehicles. I suppose the only reason she preferred men who drove nice cars is because at one point she was married to an ex-football player. What she clearly failed to realize is that there are PLENTY of broke ass men out there who want everybody to believe that they actually have something by flossing a Benz that they more than likely live out of because they can't afford a decent one bedroom apartment. I have never been one to live outside my means and although image is very important to me, I refuse to spend all of my hard earned money on clothes and shoes when I have other financial responsiblilites to take care of. But I digress.

I have a relative who is only 19 years old, but has already began to base whether or not a man is worthy of her attention based on "what he can do" for her. I guess she's got it honest because her mother is the same way. My mom has always preferred a man who could bring something to the table, but she has also been very independent and was able to take care of the both of us without the help of a man.As I stated in a few blogs back, it is due to my own personal satisfaction that I have made it a personal goal to live completely alone for a least 1 year before I even consider living with a man. I plan on having a successful career within the next couple of years so I don't see why that should be a problem for me. I guess I just worry about falling victim to the very thing that gets a woman caught up in a situation where she's insecure on whether or not she can afford to take care of herself without the financial support of a man. I honestly can't see myself getting married and starting a family while I'm in my 20's. I feel these are the years that I'm supposed to enjoy myself and find out what I really want in life. My mom has told me several times over the last few years that there is no written rule that says you have to get married and have kids. I think a lot of this is her trying to encourage me to be self-supporting above anything else. I think if she could have done everything all over again she would have waited a few more years and probably had kids and got married to a different man.

I am very fortunate that throughout the years of dating several losers, nothing has perminately done any damage. It is very difficult as a woman to make clear conscious decisions without basing it on a feeling that may be hard to deal with a the time, but very likely that you will get over. I'm more than ready to meet a man with whom I can have a lasting and healthy relationship with, but my days of being desperate and willing to settle for something that is way less than I deserve are long gone. For women (and men) who are getting what they feel they don't deserve, take a step back and look at the kind of people you're surrounding yourself with. After all, you're only as good as the company you keep...

Part 1

YESSSSSSS! For once the face I'm making isn't totally hideous. LoL ..

WHOOO LET THE DOGS OOOOOUT!!?

I swear I wish I had more time to write on here...



When and where do men get off thinking that all they have to do is show up and they get what they want? Have none of you ever heard of the 6 letter word "effort"? It seems as if that word may have been removed from the male English language because here lately I am seeing little to none what-so-ever and it's becoming quite redundant. I admit I've mostly been the one to put my foot forward FIRST and try to do the half way thing just so that I can show that I'm not as selfish as most women are made out to be. But it never fails, men get too comfortable too quick and they totally disregard the fact that every once in a while a woman wants to be treated as such. I met up with an old "friend" this past weekend for lunch and some R&R afterwards. To begin with, I suggested a restaurant that I liked, but he had never been to. Right when we're getting ready to be on our way, he suggests something different at his convenience. Being the reasonable person I am, I went along with it even though I was very irritated with the fact that he couldn't even be considerate enough to try this place. What amuses me about this guy is he used to tell me all the time "Just name something. If there's something you want, tell me", and as soon as I do, he finds a way to manipulate the situation and have it his fucking way! Anyway, we order and eat our food, and instead of being a GENTLEMAN, he says "If you don't mind, I'll pay for my half and you pay for yours". I put a smile on my face but on the inside I was pissed off. Now before anyone jumps to conclusions, I was not mad at the fact that he didn't pay for my meal, I was mad at the fact that he made NO effort in the least bit to meet me half way. He dictates what restaurant we go to and then can't even offer to pay for my little $11.00 meal that I didn't even enjoy! But you know what? I take full responsibility for the entire situation because all I had to say was "No, I really want to go to the other place". After all, I was the one driving! The worst part about the whole situation was the man goes back to my house and expects to actually get some! Not to sound like a hooker or anything, but if you can't do anything more than show your face around here then you gets NOTHIN'! I have honestly had it with men and their bullshit. I just want to meet a decent man with good values and morals when it comes to life and love, who has his head on straight enough to be heading in the right direction. To be honest, I did recently meet one who I could tell from the first conversation was a good catch, but due to the fact that he is fresh out of a relationship, I think it would be in his best interest and mine that we keep things on a platonic level. My mom told me earlier today that when it comes to men I have this "thing" where I try to save them from whatever problems they have while in the meantime, I put my personal (relationship) needs on hold. She might be right...