Why does it always look like I'm making an ugly ass face on these things?! Geez... Anywho! Enjoy!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Digging for gold...with chocolate in the middle ;)
Thus far, it has been an uninteresting weekend with rather interesting events.
Friday was supposed to be a "date night" for me. Nothing major--dinner and a movie. The night before, I was having a casual conversation with the guy I was planning on going out with, and I casually asked him a rather personal question. Before I reveal the question, I would like to note that I did ask him to not take it the wrong way because some people (especially men) get rather defensive when someone asks certain things that they feel is either personal or irrelevant. Being that we were on the subject of work, I asked him what his salary was. Now before anybody freaks out or forms an opinion, I'd like to say that in my defense I did not ask him how much money he brought home on his paycheck. I probably should have worded it differently and asked what I really meant which was "how much does someone make doing what you do?" The night we were supposed to go out, he calls me and tells me, in not so many words, that he got the impression that I was after him for his money. I will admit that since I am getting older and trying to take dating a tad bit more seriously, a man's establishment is important to me. That does not necessarily mean that I'm concerned with whether or not he brings home over $50,000.00 a year. My dad doesn't make that much, and my mom substantially earns at least $15,000.00 more than he does, but it has never made a difference to her. Being that my mom has never been concerned with anything other than a man having a job, she has not raised me to rely on the financial security of a man for my well being. For the record (and yes I'm bragging) I work Mon-Fri earning a decent amount of money that allows me to pay for my own brand new vehicle, I pay for my own tuition as well as books, I pay my own cell phone bill (which is NOT cheap), and anything else that I need or want on a regular basis. Oh yeah, and I'm kid free. I do NOT need a man for anything other than company, comfort and a good lay every now and then. I know that some people may say that there has to be some truth behind it if I'm getting so defensive, but honestly, I strongly dislike women who look to a man for financial security. I take a great deal of pride in everything that I do independently and the last thing I want is for someone to put me in a category with gold-diggers. But I'm through explaining myself...
On a lighter note I have my first lab exam tomorrow and I'm shittin' bricks. I've been studying everyday for the past couple of weeks but I still don't feel fully prepared for it. I know that a lot of it is anxiety because the professor is basically throwing us to the wolves, but regardless of how well I do or don't do I'll know what to expect the next time and hopefully I won't stress as much.
Friday was supposed to be a "date night" for me. Nothing major--dinner and a movie. The night before, I was having a casual conversation with the guy I was planning on going out with, and I casually asked him a rather personal question. Before I reveal the question, I would like to note that I did ask him to not take it the wrong way because some people (especially men) get rather defensive when someone asks certain things that they feel is either personal or irrelevant. Being that we were on the subject of work, I asked him what his salary was. Now before anybody freaks out or forms an opinion, I'd like to say that in my defense I did not ask him how much money he brought home on his paycheck. I probably should have worded it differently and asked what I really meant which was "how much does someone make doing what you do?" The night we were supposed to go out, he calls me and tells me, in not so many words, that he got the impression that I was after him for his money. I will admit that since I am getting older and trying to take dating a tad bit more seriously, a man's establishment is important to me. That does not necessarily mean that I'm concerned with whether or not he brings home over $50,000.00 a year. My dad doesn't make that much, and my mom substantially earns at least $15,000.00 more than he does, but it has never made a difference to her. Being that my mom has never been concerned with anything other than a man having a job, she has not raised me to rely on the financial security of a man for my well being. For the record (and yes I'm bragging) I work Mon-Fri earning a decent amount of money that allows me to pay for my own brand new vehicle, I pay for my own tuition as well as books, I pay my own cell phone bill (which is NOT cheap), and anything else that I need or want on a regular basis. Oh yeah, and I'm kid free. I do NOT need a man for anything other than company, comfort and a good lay every now and then. I know that some people may say that there has to be some truth behind it if I'm getting so defensive, but honestly, I strongly dislike women who look to a man for financial security. I take a great deal of pride in everything that I do independently and the last thing I want is for someone to put me in a category with gold-diggers. But I'm through explaining myself...
On a lighter note I have my first lab exam tomorrow and I'm shittin' bricks. I've been studying everyday for the past couple of weeks but I still don't feel fully prepared for it. I know that a lot of it is anxiety because the professor is basically throwing us to the wolves, but regardless of how well I do or don't do I'll know what to expect the next time and hopefully I won't stress as much.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Rescue me...PUH-LEASE!
A quick intermission from my life a.k.a STUDYING.
I would have never thought that I would be so overwhelmed so quickly with school. I guess it's a matter of getting used to a new routine with doubled responsibilites. All I know is, thank GOD I don't have kids! I honestly don't see how people do it with families. It's hard enough to find time to get all of my other work and studying done without the stress or noise of children running around, although sometimes I feel like I live with a child when my deaf ass daddy has the t.v. cut up as loud as it'll go. So this will be the 2nd week in a row that someone has asked me to come out and I've had to say no because I can't afford to be out when I'm pressed for time to prepare for an exam 10 days from now. Even though it's disappointing that I had to decline, I'm pretty proud of myself for having my priorities in the right order. Aside from all of the work, the toughest part about everything going on right now is doing it without someone to talk to. But it could be a lot worse, so when I have my "moments" I always try to look at the bigger picture and count my blessings. I just really hate feeling lonely. I've always been the one out of everybody who was constantly single and never had a problem with that...until I start to get stressed and overwhelmed and realize that I have no one to comfort me. Why the hell am I even going on about this?? That kind of thing will always be around and it will be there when the time is right. At this point, my main focus is school--not work, not men, SCHOOL. I have my whole life to work and be in and out of love, but I'm very limited to the amount of time I have to complete my education.
I would have never thought that I would be so overwhelmed so quickly with school. I guess it's a matter of getting used to a new routine with doubled responsibilites. All I know is, thank GOD I don't have kids! I honestly don't see how people do it with families. It's hard enough to find time to get all of my other work and studying done without the stress or noise of children running around, although sometimes I feel like I live with a child when my deaf ass daddy has the t.v. cut up as loud as it'll go. So this will be the 2nd week in a row that someone has asked me to come out and I've had to say no because I can't afford to be out when I'm pressed for time to prepare for an exam 10 days from now. Even though it's disappointing that I had to decline, I'm pretty proud of myself for having my priorities in the right order. Aside from all of the work, the toughest part about everything going on right now is doing it without someone to talk to. But it could be a lot worse, so when I have my "moments" I always try to look at the bigger picture and count my blessings. I just really hate feeling lonely. I've always been the one out of everybody who was constantly single and never had a problem with that...until I start to get stressed and overwhelmed and realize that I have no one to comfort me. Why the hell am I even going on about this?? That kind of thing will always be around and it will be there when the time is right. At this point, my main focus is school--not work, not men, SCHOOL. I have my whole life to work and be in and out of love, but I'm very limited to the amount of time I have to complete my education.
Monday, September 1, 2008
And I'm back!
So...I've been on a slight hiatus. Last Monday was my first day of school and I'm just glad I made it out alive lol! I was a little overwhelmed in the beginning and worried that I may have bit off more than I can chew, but I'm cool now. 4 out of the 5 classes I'm taking are part of the criteria to apply to the nursing program so I'll be busting my ass for the next 2 semesters. I'm excited that I'm finally on my little road to success, but I can't help but be worried that things won't go as I anticipate. It seems that every obsticle I run into, my faith in God grows stronger and stronger, and I don't think I've had more conversations with Him or prayed as much as I have lately, in my entire life.
On another note, I've had several revelations this week. I'm ready to start "cleaning house" with a lot of things in my life. I've definitely realized that I can't afford to have any distractions right now, because as soon as I allow the slightest thing to get my attention, I'll lose focus and put things that are very demanding of my attention off until the next day, then the next, then the next and then I'll look up and I've reached my deadline with nothing to hand in. So, I suppose for right now I'll be fine without the company and/or comfort of a man.
Speaking of men, do you ever wonder if the person you're waiting for is already there and you just don't realize it? We all have an ideal person embedded in our minds, making it very difficult to acknowledge the possibility that what we're looking for has been in front of us the whole time. If I could make a list of ingredients to create the perfect man, it would consist of the following: 2 cups Good looking, 1 1/2 cups great in bed, 1 cup good sense of humor, 2 tbsp job w/ benefits, 1 tbsp relationship with God, and 1 stick of honesty. Blend all of that at medium speed, bake for 21-26 years and ta-daaaaaa! You've got my perfect man made especially for me. Now I'm sure that there is a man somewhere out there that has all of the qualities and characteristics that I so desire, but I doubt I will find him anytime soon. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I'm not as ready for that as I'd like to think I am. Then again, maybe I've already met him and I just don't know it. Sometimes you let things and people pass you by before you are able to see the true value in them, but as some of us get older and begin focusing on the things that truely matter within a person, we don't worry so much about the little things that may "excite" us.
On another note, I've had several revelations this week. I'm ready to start "cleaning house" with a lot of things in my life. I've definitely realized that I can't afford to have any distractions right now, because as soon as I allow the slightest thing to get my attention, I'll lose focus and put things that are very demanding of my attention off until the next day, then the next, then the next and then I'll look up and I've reached my deadline with nothing to hand in. So, I suppose for right now I'll be fine without the company and/or comfort of a man.
Speaking of men, do you ever wonder if the person you're waiting for is already there and you just don't realize it? We all have an ideal person embedded in our minds, making it very difficult to acknowledge the possibility that what we're looking for has been in front of us the whole time. If I could make a list of ingredients to create the perfect man, it would consist of the following: 2 cups Good looking, 1 1/2 cups great in bed, 1 cup good sense of humor, 2 tbsp job w/ benefits, 1 tbsp relationship with God, and 1 stick of honesty. Blend all of that at medium speed, bake for 21-26 years and ta-daaaaaa! You've got my perfect man made especially for me. Now I'm sure that there is a man somewhere out there that has all of the qualities and characteristics that I so desire, but I doubt I will find him anytime soon. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I'm not as ready for that as I'd like to think I am. Then again, maybe I've already met him and I just don't know it. Sometimes you let things and people pass you by before you are able to see the true value in them, but as some of us get older and begin focusing on the things that truely matter within a person, we don't worry so much about the little things that may "excite" us.
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