On The Brighter Side...

I woke up this morning feeling much better. I was no longer hurting, which is great, but it was definitely not expected. I don't want to grieve over another failed relationship, but with the way I went to bed feeling, I certainly did not expect to wake up feeling the total opposite. I'm not big on text messages or emails because I feel that they are just too impersonal, however, I sent *him* a text letting him know that even though I'm not sure why we haven't been talking, surely there's a legitimate reason for it. I also let him know that I miss him and hope to talk soon. I didn't know what was going to happen as far as a response, but when I did not receive one back, I didn't think much of it. I think I've done what I can to salvage what was obviously not mine to begin with. I've always thought that by "doing too much" you can scare a potential boyfriend/girlfriend off, but if the feelings are mutual, you can never do too much.

I've been on a mission the last couple of days to change my location. Needless to say, my mother is NOT happy with the idea of me moving, but I really feel like I need this. I got my letter in the mail for nursing school, and they "kind of" accepted me. They put me on a waiting list. So if someone drops out of the program, I could possibly be next in line for their spot. Someone, or several people, dropping, is likely to happen, as it always does in every nursing program, so...we shall see! In the meantime, I have been browsing the Internet looking for apartments as well as applying for jobs out of state, and hopefully by Jan. 2010, I will be OUTTA HERE!!! I love TN and I don't want to leave everyone, but I feel extremely confined to my surroundings. It's a scary thought, being all alone in another city, but if I don't do it now, I'm afraid I'll NEVER do it. I'm expecting an info packet in the mail from a school that teaches nothing but nursing, and they start every quarter, so the odds of me getting in are very high.

I know that I'm young and have all the time in the world to establish myself and build a career as a health care professional, but I don't want to be 30 and still trying to "find myself". I realize that throughout life you are always searching for answers and questioning your purpose, but nursing is 100% where I want to be, and I want to walk into an office or hospital as a RN by the time I'm 25. After that, hopefully everything else will fall right into place. In the meantime, my summer and fall semester is set as far as school, and because I chose to take on a full load my first year back in college, I now have more time to WORK. Being broke is hard on your pride and your social life, especially when you've been able to do whatever you wanted with your money since you've been 16 years old. I plan on making a day out of going around to different offices next week, and I pray to God that by the end of May I'm working. I'd hate to go more than 6 months without any employment. Not only that, but the longer I work, the more money I can save for a deposit on my first apartment!

I'm in a much better mood today, despite the tears. Thank God...