New Year, New Attitude

2008 was the year I attempted to conquer the one thing that plagues so many young, single women: men. There was the possessive-insecure-psycho, the alcoholic, the married guy, the in-between, the loose cannon and the flake. All of which have proven to be nothing more than a waste of my time. It is said that all women must kiss a toad or two in order to find her prince charming, but what happens when you kiss your prince charming and he turns out to be a toad? We as women spend more time picking out a pair of shoes that we may only wear a few times, than we do the men in our lives. Oddly enough, if there is one little thing wrong with the shoe, we put it back and move on to another store in hopes of finding the perfect footwear. When it comes to men, however, we see 99 things wrong with him, but choose to overlook them in hopes to either change him or avoid being single. So what's worse? No shoes, or no man? As a 20 year old, I relied on the advice from magazines such as Cosmopolitan in order to figure men out and try a few sex or kissing tricks that would "make a man fall in love". As a 22 year old, Cosmopolitan is simply an alcoholic beverage that looks better than it tastes. In life, we are always looking for a job, a boyfriend or an apartment. So let's say you have two out of three and they're fabulous; why do we let the one thing we don't have affect how we feel about all the things we do have? Why does one minus a plus one feel like it adds up to zero? There are times when a woman relishes being alone. There are the other times when we are so hungry for a spark that we fall into a dating mirage and hallucinate a man. Society tells us that women are not allowed to have it all: a wildly successful career and a relationship, and we must choose between one or the other. However, some of us are capable of having both due to our ability to accept that having it all requires us to not expect things to look like more than they actually are.

People say everything happens for a reason. These people are usually women, and these women are usually sorting through a break up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a good-bye, but apparently women must either get married or learn something. Why are we in such a rush to move from confused to Confucius? Do we search for lessons to lessen the pain? I once saw an episode of Sex & The City where Carrie got dumped via post-it note. Later that evening she and her friends were out and she coincidentally ran into one of her ex-boyfriend's friends. He introduced her to the group of friends he was with as "Jack's girlfriend". Carrie was then forced to explain that she and Jack were no longer together. His reaction was nothing short of a typical one coming from a man. She informs him of the cowardly way she was dumped and once again, no reaction. Out of a sheer emotional reflex, she blurts out that not only did they have problems, but he was bad in bed! In order to spare going down the lowest road possible, she walks back over to him and admits that what she said was only due to the humiliation and hurt she was subjected to via post-it. Every pussy-ass man in America uses the same excuse that they were "just afraid" because women have a tendency to get angry and not take break-ups that well. So while you pathetic excuse for men are out there thinking that there is no real way to break up with a woman, guess what? There is! You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman (to her face) that you no longer want to see her. Call me crazy, but I think that you can make a point of ending your relationship in a manner that does not include an email, a text message or a Dear John letter. I think that you all can get over your fear of "looking like the bad guy" and actually have the uncomfortable break up conversation because avoiding that will make you look like the bad guy! And for the record, most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. We just want an ending to a relationship that is thoughtful and decent and utters what we had together. So my point is, there is a good way to break up with someone and it doesn't include a post-it!
Moral of the story: don't go to bed angry (this is the result).

When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or even a heart, you look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there isn't always someone there to catch you. In life there aren't any safety nets, so when did it stop being fun and start being scary? I've decided that it's time to leave fear behind, and have some fun. HEL-LOOOO 2009!